I can’t even begin to describe what it was like for me to see a bit of our birth doula workshop (the morning of day 2) through the lens of Boise Lifestyle Photographer, Joyce Alexander.  ”Bliss” might be a good start.  I love Joyce’s work because she captures three things that make me giddy…

Perspective – that unique view point that allows us to see the world as others might

Light – that every changing illumination that can change what we see completely

Life’s little moments – so special and so fleeting, the little things that would be forgotten and have such a powerful impact when captured for us to remember and cherish.

If you’d like to view the story of this morning of our workshop…click here.

Thank you Joyce Alexander.

I started the “Who BEcomes A Doula?” Project because I wanted know more about what compels a woman to become a birth doula?  Are we all just “birth junkies”?  (I deeply dislike that term.)

Or, is there something about our personalities that leads us to find a way to connect with, care for and support women at that uniquely vulnerable and joyous time of birth…no matter where we are in the world? Who is drawn to this work and what kind of work (or life) did they have before they became a birth doula? What makes them continue?

For this project, I have chosen to interview some of the many doulas who inspire me in my own “heart’s work”, like Elizabeth Mangum:

“I am a Certified Birth Doula (labor support professional), Lamaze Childbirth Educator, and a Clinical Social Worker. I am also a wife, grand-daughter, daughter, sister, friend, owner of a beautiful chocolate lab – Franny.  I’ve traveled to many parts of the world and have lived in Ireland, Mexico, Guatemala, and Honduras. I was recently married to an incredible adventurer of the world – Jason Sarach. When we first met in 2006 he shared with me his goal of traveling to Africa overland on his BMW R80GS motorcycle. At that point, it was a fantasy of mine to join him….on April 12, 2010 that fantasy became a reality. In order to fully participate in this trip I decided that I would need to incorporate my passion for birth; so, I’ve decided to meet with as many midwives, doulas, and pregnant women and their families as I can in order to discover more insight into the fascinating world of childbirth!”

I had the pleasure of meeting Elizabeth Mangum in Atlanta in 2009 during our DONA Doula Trainer Workshop.  I was instantly drawn to her smile and the twinkle in her eyes that reflects her vibrant energy and curiosity. We also connected in a poignant way at the end of our training in the closing circle.  It was here that both Elizabeth and I experienced a mix of joy and sadness that was palpable.  In that closing circle, our trainer, DONA founder, Penny Simkin, chose one word to describe what the training had meant to her. She shared, “the future”.  Present in that circle were not only women from all over the United States, but from all over the world as this was the year of the first DONA International Fellowship Program.  Everyone was keenly aware that Penny was charging each of us with continuing the work of training new birth doulas.  But for Elizabeth and me, there was something more.  When Penny said the words, “the future”, my heart pushed a sound up through my throat that I couldn’t stop.  Elizabeth and I locked eyes for a second; each with tears streaming down our faces.  She and I were holding equally the grief and joy of Penny’s vision.

For me, “growing up” as a doula in Seattle meant that Penny Simkin had been my guide and inspiration.  Not only my doula trainer in 1995, Penny prepared my husband and me for the birth of our first son in her childbirth class in ’97, a few years later, she was also my Childbirth Educator Instructor and now, I had the honor of her teaching me to train doulas.  For 15 + years I’ve had the pleasure (as have many hundreds of doulas in the Seattle area) of Penny’s accessibility, her approachable personality and her generous heart.  Penny was and is a touchstone for me, a measuring stick for my effectiveness, a north star by which to steer.

On the other side of country, Elizabeth had a similar mentor.  In New York City, that north star to many doulas was Ilana Stein.  A “birth pioneer since 1983″, Ilana was a co-founder of the Metropolitan Doula Group, Director of Birth Focus and the recipient of the 2007 Penny Simkin Award for Doula Spirit and Mentoring (DONA International).  Her impact on Elizabeth was profound. In the year before our Trainer Training, Ilana passed away after a 4-year battle with ovarian cancer and her absence was felt deeply by Elizabeth at that moment in the closing circle.  She and I later shared how we felt the weight and responsibility in the shadows of these amazing women and how grateful we were for their impact on our lives.

Many months later, I learned that Elizabeth was setting out on a globetrotting adventure, on the back of her husband Jason’s motorcycle.  Since then I have kept up with her amazing adventure via her facebook page and her occasional entries in her blog, “Birth from the Backseat”.

I can’t think of a better person to speak to the question “Who BEcomes a Doula?” than Elizabeth.  And I can’t imagine posting her answers to the interview without sharing some photos from her “overland motorcycle journey discovering the beauty of birth throughout Europe, Middle East, and Africa via conversations with midwives, doulas, and pregnant women and families.”

It took some time to connect with Elizabeth (between towns with internet access) but I am thrilled she was willing and able to to be part of the “Who BEcomes a Doula?” Project.

What is your favorite word? Fenetre (window, in French).

What is your least favorite word? Obstinance.

What sound or noise do you love? Laughter.

What sound or noise do you hate? Thunder.

What movie could you watch again and again? Coal Minor’s Daughter.

What book are you reading now? Into Thin Air by Jon Krakeau.

Where do you like to go to read a book? My couch with my dog on my lap.

When driving in the car/on the bike, what do you listen to? NPR.

The food you would eat several times a week if you could is… nachos.

Your favorite pair of shoes are… at the moment, my Birkenstocks (I am thinking she meant boots); but, while not on the road then I love my Birkenstocks.

Your family would say you… are so different.

When you are not a birth, where are we most likely to find you? In the park.

Doing what? Walking my dog or doing yoga.

How did you become a doula? I found an incredible mentor – Ilana Stein – and followed her path.

What makes you continue? Knowing that I can offer comfort to a woman that might have otherwise been alone.

5 words that best describe your journey as a doula: challenging, adventurous, comforting, inspiring, unpredictable.

Most surprising thing you ever took to/used at a birth: tennis ball on the perineum (which I learned from a Japanese client).

Funniest thing you ever heard a laboring woman say: “I am a great shitter. I can definitely push this baby out.”

If you could say only one thing at a birth to the laboring woman, what would it be? “Trust in yourself and be true to your inner voice.”

Your advice to new doulas…take care of yourself first before taking care of others.

To recharge your BEing, you… surround myself with girlfriends.

What is the most challenging thing about being a doula? The unpredictability.

What is the most rewarding part for you? Knowing that I have helped a woman to find her inner voice during birth so that she can be an active participant in the process.

Tell us something about your adventure with birth from the backseat…what do you want us to know? In a nutshell….a quote from my dad…

“there are the way I think things should be and then there are the way things are….”.

Life is challenging all over the world.

I am grateful to be given the opportunity to witness some of these challenges

and experience them for myself.

Follow your dreams!

What do you do? 

I am a doula. 

What’s a doula? 

I have a better question: 

WHO is a doula? 

A significant focus of the birth doula workshops I teach is the concept of BEing a doula.   BEing a doula means being wholeheartedly present to the laboring woman and knowing that, more than any tool, technique or trick you bring with you in your “doula bag”

the greatest gift you bring is yourself…

your presence,

bearing witness,

holding the space,

acknowledging, affirming, attending, attuning.

So, inspired by Brene Brown and her Inspiration Interview Series, (and in indirect homage to a personal favorite, James Lipton) I have chosen to conduct my own monthly interviews of some of the many doulas who have influenced and inspired me in my own ”heart’s work” as well as the many new doulas who are just entering the dance.  So, let’s get started:

You know how incredibly rare it is to meet someone you like instantly and with whom you feel you could go anywhere, do anything, share anything?  That pretty much sums up my experience with Wendy Dean.  Wendy and I connected on so many levels not the least of which was our love for mothers and babies and birth.  When I lived in the Seattle area, Wendy was my “go-to” doula, and childbirth educator colleague, and she soon became as much a “go-to” friend.  Wendy was an excellent source for information and ideas, and I always knew whether I needed her to cover a birth, sub a class, or pick up my kids in a pinch-she would do it, she’d be great and she’d be smiling.  I  miss her. 

Doula: Wendy Dean, DVM

What is your favorite word?   Love

What is your least favorite word?  Apathy

What sound or noise do you love?  Laughter

What sound or noise do you hate?  Persistent cries of a distressed baby

What movie could you watch again and again? “The American President”

What book are you reading now? Multiple books including Brain Rules for Babies by John Medina, Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert and (another book, I can’t remember the title right now) by Lucy Swindoll

Where do you like to go to read a book? My bed

When driving in the car, what do you listen to?  NPR or Christian pop music….when I’m not on the phone…..

The food you would eat several times a week if you could is… pizza

Your favorite pair of shoes are… flat, black and slip on.

Your family would say you…are a good cook and a great hugger

 When you are not a birth, where are we mostly to find you? Driving my kids from activity to activity….

Doing what? ….Driving….and talking on the phone (yes, I use a headset!)

5 words that best describe your journey as a doula: Trust, Connect, Love, Pray, Be.

Most surprising thing you ever took to/used at a birth: My daughter’s raincoat….shoved under the woman who birthed in my car.

Funniest thing you ever heard a laboring woman say: “.OK….I’m bored” (she was 6 cm at the time)

If you could say only one thing at a birth to the laboring woman, what would it be?  You CAN do this.

To recharge your BEing, you…cook, get massage and turn off my phone.

Your advice to new doulas:  Stay open to whatever the universe places before you.

How did you become a doula? 
            I frequently get asked how I became a doula.  Even more frequently, once the person inquiring finds out what I used to do, I get asked WHY I became a doula.  You see, my background is pretty unusual.  Before I began attending births as a doula, I practiced veterinary medicine.  Sounds like the furthest thing possible from practicing as a doula, right?

           The leap from the practice of diagnosing and treating pets to working with birthing families is not as big as one might think.  First, all mammals birth similarly.  A large chunk of what I learned in school and saw in practice (related to the birth of domestic animals) applies to the birth of babies.  I like to think that vets get it right when they refuse to intervene in the normal birth process.  Second, the way physicians are trained is very similar to how veterinarians are trained.  I spend a significant portion of my time assisting families who are birthing with a medical doctor and I find my familiarity with the way doctors and nurses have been trained to approach situations gives me insight that helps the families I work with navigate the “system”.  Finally, much of the “art” of veterinary medicine has to do with intuition, close observation, trusting the process and keeping an open mind to all the possible explanations.  I use these skills on a daily basis with my doula clients.

           So, let’s get back to the original question.  Why did I decide to switch careers?  The process of making the decision was lengthy and involved a sequence of events in my life.  The birth of my first child was transformative, as it is for most women.  I went from being a vet to being a mother. Clearly there was more to my identity but this was the shift I felt most profoundly.  Also, I just couldn’t shake the “too cool for words” feeling about the birth process.  Even though the birth did not go as I had planned and hoped, it was still the most amazing thing I had ever experienced.  Then I had a second baby.  Again, the birth did not go exactly as I had hoped but I felt exhilarated by what my body was designed to do.  Then I had the opportunity to support a friend and her pregnant niece through the birth of a baby she was planning to give up for adoption.  After I attended her birth as a support person I remember feeling like I had found the thing I was put on this earth to do.  I find it difficult to put into words the depth of satisfaction and completeness I felt about knowing exactly what I could do to help this young woman through a challenging labor. I couldn’t WAIT to do it again!

           This was the tipping point for me.  I began looking at how I might be able to make a career as a doula.  The obstacles appeared significant.  I needed to figure out how to provide care to my young children when I was at a long labor.  Thank goodness for my supportive husband and group of friends who were rooting for me.  I needed to figure out what other job might be compatible with a doula’s on call schedule.  Thank goodness for a friend who offered me a job as a childbirth and early parenting educator.  I needed to figure out how to arrange coverage for my classes should I need to go to a birth.  Thank goodness for colleagues who were willing to help.  Once those things were in place the rest was easy.  I took a leave of absence from my position as an associate veterinarian and signed up for the doula training and childbirth educator training.  I’m still, technically, on leave….although I’m pretty sure my old boss has given up on having me return to practice.

           I’m considered a “seasoned” doula at this point.  I’ve been attending births consistently since July of 1999.  At my peak of busyness I was attending 3 to 4 births each month.  To date I’ve been with 252 families as they have welcomed their babies into the world.  This work is my heart.  It is how I make a difference in the world, one family and one life at a time.  The only thing in my life that has rivaled the satisfaction and joy I experience as a doula is the satisfaction and joy I get from parenting my own fabulous kids.  I can’t imagine doing anything else.

Wendy Dean has been a labor support doula and childbirth and early parenting educator since 1999.  She received her training as a doula from Seattle Midwifery School and her educator training from the Childbirth Education Association of Seattle (CEAS).  She currently teaches early parenting classes for Evergreen Hospital as part of the Parent Baby Program and facilitates the support group for families experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety.  Additionally, Wendy is a certified lactation educator and a certified Gottman Educator for the “Bringing Baby Home” ™ program.  Prior to becoming a doula she practiced veterinary medicine for 10 years. She lives in Redmond with her wonderful husband of 23 years along with their two children and assorted pets.

Thanks Wendy.

Who inspires you?  Do you know a doula with a great story?  How did she BEcome a doula?  What has BEing a doula changed in you?  I would love to hear from you. 

In the Baby Bump Services BEcoming a Doula Workshop we weave the Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices into our trainings.  

Doulas explore the feelings and needs a client might have when approaching and passing her expected
due date and brainstorm ways to help that mama get her needs met in other ways while considering the benefits of letting her labor begin on its own.

We practice comfort measures and explore ways to support laboring moms

to walk, move and change positions in labor.

We explore the meaning of continuous support and the concept of attuning to the laboring mother and the unique single purpose and primacy of interest of the DONA birth support doula.

We learn about interventions explore evidenced-based care, resources for current and quality research and the benefits to MotherBaby to avoid unnecessary interventions.

We practice positions so that we can support the laboring mom

to avoid giving birth on her back and follow her body’s urges to push

We learn about breastfeeding and postpartum and the many ways to

keep mother and baby together.

And while we do ALL that, we have a GOOD TIME!

If you are a trained doula, what was the best part of your training?

I love this photo. Just a moment caught on film of a woman being whole-heartedly present with another woman. Finding this photo after the November BEcoming a Doula™ Workshop was such an affirmation for me because at the close of day two, some of the participants expressed concern about what it takes to be an effective doula. And it was Jennifer (above) who, on day three, propelled us all into such a rich exploration and authentic conversation about what is really necessary to support a laboring woman.

And later, it was Jennifer who, in the role-play exercise we were doing, made a beeline connection to the needs of the pregnant/laboring woman. It was a dramatic “aha-moment” for the group and confirmed for everyone… when you doubt you can, just be and you’ll find you are.

What kinds of things, or what kind of people, allow you to be whole-heartedly who you are?

I was listening to NPR today (might as well not have other channels in this girl’s car) and heard a piece on mothers in the military that surprised me and stuck with me all day. Being interviewed were mothers who are deployed and the part that took me by surprise was the reality that mutli-tasking never ends for mothers even if they are working in a hostile country. One woman mentioned getting emails from her child’s teachers to discuss how her kids were doing in school and while I realize that probably shouldn’t surprise me, (I would want to know what was going on with my child and to stay connected), when I try to imagine what it really means to need to be on guard (like any false step could be fatal), on the other side of the world, and still need to hold your child’s daily life in your head and heart…well, I can’t wrap my mind around it.

Then, later that day, I got a phone call from a former student and client. She was contacting me to ask me to send her the photo (below) which was taken outside my home in 2006. As it is Veteran’s Day, her colleagues wanted to see a pregnant Captain Houle (as she was called when the photo was taken) in her uniform. The interest at her work stems from the fact that Amanda is now employed by Dartmouth Medical School of Psychiatry and is also an associate faculty member in the Department of Clinical Psychology at Anitioch University New England where she works with pregnant women.

But the reason I wanted to share this is because Amanda Houle is also a trained doula. “The combination of my training as a doula and in psychology allows me to do family therapy ‘in utero’ – it’s an exciting blend.” Read more about Amanda’s public service project – a mental health program for expectant mothers at Cheshire Medical Center/Dartmouth-Hitchcock Keene.

So, to all the mothers, sisters, daughters, and doulas (both those serving in our military and those doulas who attend our military)…Thank You.

During DONA International’s first Webinar, Penny Simkin reminded us all… yes, we need to know what to DO, but more important, we need to know when NOT to do it. During that webinar, Penny shared that, more than anything, she wants to encourage doulas to enter the birthing space of a laboring woman with an attitude of curious observation… to ask: what is she doing and how can I support her?

Penny went on to challenge us: when we are with the laboring woman, are we modeling patience? Are we modeling trust? Or do we, unwittingly, in our desire to help her labor “progress” send messages that it isn’t happening fast enough or that her own intuition about how she is laboring could some how be improved upon by a suggestion or two?

 I loved this because it resonates what I have learned in watching so many women in labor and how my practice has changed over time. It also reminds us of the early research on doulas (before we had a name for them) when just having a kindly intentional woman in the room with a laboring mother was reassurance enough. This greatly informs my approach to teaching new doulas. Sometimes it is what we know about birth that helps the laboring woman, but more often, it is what we know about BEing with the laboring woman that helps the most.

It is hard for some to believe that this stunning woman in this photo was 8 cm at the moment I took this photo (you know: transition, that time when movies and television would have us believe that all women are screaming and asking for an epidural). All anyone had to do for this mother was hold the space for her.

How did the people who supported you at your birth “hold the space” for you?

In the August BEcoming a Doula™ Training the discovery of the power of being present with a laboring woman and the connection and sense of safety that occurs as a result was a joyful and exciting realization for all the women in the workshop. The collective epiphany of this simple truth was magnified through the experience of the practical ways we do this—starting from our first interactions with a pregnant woman and her partner.

To celebrate and honor the collective appreciation we all had for BEing doulas, Natalie Taylor came to the final day of the workshop with a precious gift for us all. Natalie had gone home to look up the word “be” in Greek and then, in between days of the workshop and being a wife and a mommy to two little people, she made these BE pendants for each of us.

Later, I went home to look up the word as well and was thrilled to see another translation: You ARE. What better take-away for any doula who is wondering how she will best help the laboring woman…she only needs to remember… just BE, and you’ll find… You ARE.